Behind-The-Scenes of a Client Session: Navigating Anxiety, Caregiving, and Self-Compassion for Inner Peace and Empowerment

This episode is a behind-the-scenes look at a 1:1 client session. I had the privilege to guide Rebecca to some perspective-altering 'aha' moments that had her feeling clearer about herself and what to do to take her in the direction she truly wants to go.

We'll journey through Rebecca's experiences with burnout, anxiety, and the emotional complexities of her children's transition to adulthood. Discover how childhood relationships and caregiving roles influence her current mindset and learn how she navigates these emotional waters to find true empowerment and clarity.

In this episode, we'll delve into the intricate emotional dynamics of caregiving and the elusive quest for internal validation. Through rich discussions, we explore the perils of seeking external sources of purpose and the profound importance of self-worth. Rebecca's experience is a poignant illustration of the identity struggles many face when life circumstances change. Together, we navigate the path from external validation to inner abundance, offering practical tools and exercises for sustainable change.

Additionally, we explore the non-linear journey of healing, the dance between control and anxiety, and the art of self-compassion. Learn how to separate yourself from anxious thoughts and employ daily practices for grounding. This episode offers invaluable insights into reclaiming personal power and fostering inner peace. Tune in and discover how self-awareness and compassion can pave the way for profound personal growth and fulfillment.

Chapters

• 0:00 Anxiety and Letting Go Empowerment
• 16:09 Discovering Self-Value Through Caregiving Roles
• 21:22 Navigating Healing and Self-Discovery
• 29:55 Navigating Control and Anxiety
• 45:07 Fear of Aloneness and Self-Connection
• 59:46 Developing Self-Compassion Through Practice
• 1:05:50 Reclaiming Power Through Self-Compassion
• 1:15:23 Understanding Energy Centers and Leadership
• 1:30:36 Connecting With Self and Letting Go
• 1:41:46 Gaining Clarity and Moving Forward
• 1:48:42 Unpacking Personal Growth and Transformation
• 1:54:19 Reflecting on Growth Through Self-Recording

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:11

Hello, I am so glad you're here. Today is going to be a little bit of a different style than my usual podcast episodes. I have had the pleasure to guide a client through a one-on-one session and she gave me the permission to record the session so that I could publish it on my podcast so that you could hear the process that I guided her through, because you will likely find that, seeing someone else going through this process, you're probably going to see aspects of yourself in what I guided her through and hopefully this is going to help you get some personal insights and light bulb moments for yourself to empower you and help you move through any challenges that you might be going through right now. So you're going to see in this particular episode, one of the biggest kind of questions that was raised at the very beginning was dealing with feelings of anxiety, and in past sessions that I've had with this client when I worked with her two years ago, she's also raised the topic of feeling like she was heading to burnout, and the reason why I mentioned this is it's very apt for the light bulb moments that she had in this episode in terms of what was actually underneath, why she was having feelings of anxiety and why she's experienced feelings of burnout and how to turn that around for herself. You're going to see as I guide this client through the process. She's going to have some light bulb moments putting some puzzle pieces together. They're going to click in place and she's going to have some perspective shifts so that by the end she's feeling lighter and clearer and she can see exactly what's going on and, instead of feeling like she's being controlled by these feelings of anxiety and by these feelings of confusion, now she sees how to take back the driver's seat so that these aspects are not controlling her.

Speaker 1: 3:34

I'll come back again at the very end to do a debrief and give you some summary notes, but I want to point out, as you're listening to this, your particular life situation might not look like hers, but I want you to keep in the back of your mind, as you're listening to this process and her connecting her puzzle pieces, how some of this might relate to your own personal story and your own personal context, because I tend to see a lot of commonalities with my clients in terms of some of the general themes and quite likely you're going to see how some of the general themes that were laid out today in this client session will relate to your own personal life, and I'll give you at the very end some examples of how to take that and relate it to your life, even if the situation doesn't look exactly like yours. So, without further ado, let's get started with the session. So first I want to ask you Becky, do you have any? First of all, would you prefer, I say Becky or Rebecca?

Speaker 2: 4:40

Becky's fine. I think if I had it to do over again, I would have started as a Rebecca. But I'm here now so it's fine.

Speaker 1: 4:49

Okay, what do you have? Any particular questions that you would like to have answers to by the end of the session, and is there any particular things that you want to make sure that we're going to touch upon and talk about today?

Speaker 2: 5:04

Nothing specific I would say. My anxiety is up a little bit the last several months and that may be as much a hormonal thing as anything else. So that may not be an appropriate discussion for the session. But no nothing specific I can think of.

Speaker 1: 5:24

Okay, and do you have any questions? You've been trying to mull over for yourself that you would like to maybe gain some clarity on about where you are, where you're going gain some clarity on about where you are, where you're going.

Speaker 2: 5:39

Well, I think, a thing that I'm seeing a lot lately in different social media posts and different things that I'm reading and stuff, is this idea of letting go, and it's a bit confusing to me because I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be letting go of. It's a thing that I feel like I probably need to do because I feel like I'm probably holding on too tightly to some things and maybe that's my answer there, maybe those are the things I need to let go, but I'm not sure. It's just feels like this big broad idea of letting go, when you let go, when you let go, and I think I'm letting go of.

Speaker 1: 6:13

So that's a really good point right. It's hard, when it's so general, to understand how to relate that to your own life. Yes, now, in terms of that you've mentioned, maybe there's some things that I'm holding on to tightly. Are there any things in particular that come up for you that, when you're contemplating this letting go thing, what you might be holding on tightly to?

Speaker 2: 6:40

Probably the first, probably a lot of things from my childhood, things that directly relate to my relationship with my mom, and I yeah, that would probably be the biggest one.

Speaker 2: 6:52

And I yeah, that would probably be the biggest one and probably my kids, because my kids are now at the age where they're growing up, moving on, starting to make, well, this is the last this and this is the last that. And I can really get myself into a big melancholy funk if I allow myself to do that, and I always try to remind myself when I go down that path well, look at the flip side. I mean, this is what you want. You want them to live their own lives and flourish and thrive, and this is, you know, like a good thing. So I usually can bring myself out of it thinking in those terms, but it's still hard. My mind still goes to those places and I think I'm afraid of missing out on the last of something, because you never know when it's going to be. You know the last of something. So then I, you know, kind of bring it up in my mind Well, make sure you pay attention, because you don't want to miss it.

Speaker 1: 7:53

But in doing that I just kind of put myself in a funk when that happens and you're like, ah, but I'm gonna miss out on the last of something does, do you find that ever takes you away from actually being present in the moment yes, but often the moment that I'm present in, I don't care if I'm not in it, because I'm usually like at the grocery store or driving somewhere.

Speaker 2: 8:16

So I feel like it's kind of, uh, it's okay that I'm present in, I don't care if I'm not in it, because I'm usually like at the grocery store or driving somewhere. So I feel like it's kind of it's okay if I'm not in that moment fully, because it's not. It's not like these things happen when I'm doing something meaningful or, you know, it's usually just when my mind is sort of at rest, doing something, you know, kind of mindless. Okay.

Speaker 1: 8:36

Just writing a note down for later, okay. Okay, I want to ask you about the anxiety that's been, the feelings of anxiety that have been coming up for you lately. I know you've mentioned that it might be hormonal, but if there are other puzzle pieces to consider, what are the main themes of when you're noticing anxiety comes up, what the subjects are, how you're feeling?

Speaker 2: 9:08

Usually the subject is my family, my family. If somebody in my circle that is not doing well, either you know, struggling physically or emotionally, that will give me anxiety. And lately it's just been sort of short bursts of it.

Speaker 1: 9:31

It's not like it's something that's all consuming, but it's it's not like it's something that's all consuming, but it's just a little bit more noticeable. So if someone's not doing well in your family and you get these feelings first of all, what are the feelings If you were to, kind of like, put a descriptive to the sensation that you get, or the feelings that come up? Oh boy that's tough.

Speaker 2: 9:55

The feelings that come up, oh boy, that's tough. I mean it's just, I guess I get, I get like a sinking feeling, um, and then it's just general worry about whether or not they're going to be okay, whether I'm going to be able to do anything in my power to help them be okay.

Speaker 2: 10:19

I have a big fear of failing people. So it's I think it's more. My concern is more if somebody is not doing okay and I have the ability to do something to help them, to make sure that I'm able to do that or that I'm effective at doing that. Tell me more about this. I guess because I don't feel like I have much control over the outside factors that are making whoever is in my care not be doing okay. Wow, my English is fantastic today. Oh, don't worry about that. The only thing I have control over is my reaction to it, how I'm able to care for them, how I'm able to help them, and I know in my intelligent mind that their success and their well-being isn't 100% on me to fix. Success and their well-being isn't 100% on me to fix, but I want to make sure that I show up as best I can to contribute to their success, contribute to their well-being, as best I can.

Speaker 1: 11:27

Okay, I'm just thinking back. I was looking at some notes from our last session as well, our last sessions. Mm-hmm from our last session as well, our last sessions, and I see some themes here from things that we've talked about in the past.

Speaker 2: 11:43

Okay.

Speaker 1: 11:44

Before I point them out, do you have a sense of what they might be? No not really Tell me more about caring about other people and caring for other people.

Speaker 2: 11:57

Well, I feel like it's my strongest. What would you want to call it? Skill, characteristic driving force. It's kind of my bread and butter, it's kind of what I do. I mean, that's it's kind of who I am is just somebody who takes care of others, so it's just really important to me that I do the best job at that that I can what would happen if you didn't? Uh well, they would probably have to figure out another solution that didn't involve me, I guess or figure out another source of help.

Speaker 1: 12:43

And what would happen if?

Speaker 2: 12:44

they did that.

Speaker 1: 12:45

As long as they're okay, I'm okay with that, okay weren't able to do what you think is the most effective and best job that you can, for whatever reason. It would mean that they would have to go find a different solution that didn't include you, and how would you feel about that?

Speaker 2: 13:08

I don't think I'd probably feel great at first. So that's probably a lot of ego talking.

Speaker 1: 13:15

Can you say more about why? That wouldn't feel great. You know, even if it doesn't make any sense logically, what comes up.

Speaker 2: 13:24

Well, if, if I'm not effective and I can't take care of my people, then I feel kind of lost, then I'm not sure, not sure what I'm bringing to the table, then Okay.

Speaker 1: 13:42

I'm trying to figure out the best way to say this, because I would love for you to kind of come to the conclusion yourself instead of offering it to you. If that makes sense, okay, if that makes sense, okay. What from what I'm I'm I'm picking up here, is that there needs to be, you need to show up and take care of others and do the best job that you can to take care of other people, because otherwise you're not sure what you're bringing to the table. You're not sure, maybe, what your purpose is.

Speaker 2: 14:18

Yes, yes, okay, that's accurate.

Speaker 1: 14:22

So it sounds like you're kind of like tying taking care of other people with your purpose.

Speaker 2: 14:27

Yes.

Speaker 1: 14:29

Does that feel true for?

Speaker 2: 14:30

you? Yes, I would say, it does feel true for me.

Speaker 1: 14:34

So, yes, I would say it does feel true for me.

Speaker 1: 14:36

Okay, I'm going to explain something that I tend to see a lot with clients that I work with and you tell me how this lands and whether or not it feels like it might be a piece of the puzzle for you. Okay, because I work with a lot of people who are caregivers, whether it be in their personal life or as a career, right, nurses and all the things and oftentimes A there tends to be an association with they're the caregiver because that was their role growing up. Right, they were kind of put in this place from a very young age that they were the person that would take care of other people or try to manage their environment, to feel safe, but that also kind of gave them a sense of like importance or validation or value. And then what happens is it becomes very easy then to step into this role in your adult life of caring for other people. However, there's this tendency, the action is, there's this underlying intention of I need to take care of other people to get my sense of value.

Speaker 2: 15:47

Yeah, how does that? All of it is a hundred percent true. Okay, with how I feel True.

Speaker 1: 15:53

Okay With how I feel. Okay, so here's the thing with that. The action itself isn't the issue. It's the underlying intention and motivation behind the action.

Speaker 1: 16:10

So what I commonly see is when we are, in this case, caring for other people in order to gain our sense of like, purpose and validation and value, what tends to happen is is is we're kind of like seeking this external thing which is helping other people and making sure they're taken care of, in order to fulfill something within us. Yeah, yes. Now what happens is is that when we seek anything externally, it will never fulfill us a hundred percent, because we can't be in control of everything that's going on outside of us. And what happens is that it creates this vicious cycle of you need to care more and more and try harder and harder and do more and more of caring for others and possibly even putting yourself on the back burner in order to care for them, mm-hmm, because you have nothing left to give and you're not getting the return of the value you're seeking to the same degree as what you're giving yeah, yeah, yep.

Speaker 1: 17:27

Now, the switch here is that when you are able to find that sense of value and purpose from within yourself, first you get to this place of inner overflow where you are connected with your sense of self, when you know who you are and have the sense of value in knowing that it comes from you just being, as opposed to what you're doing as a human being. And when this happens, you get to this place where your cup is overflowing right into the saucer, like we've talked about, and so that when you get to this place that when you get to this place it's not about you can still be doing the same action, which is helping others, but you're doing it from this place where you just want to help others because you're so full of energy and purpose within yourself. You want to share that with others. Versus you're helping others because you need that in order to feel like you're a valuable person okay does that?

Speaker 1: 18:43

does that make sense?

Speaker 2: 18:44

that makes a lot of sense absolutely tell me how that lands.

Speaker 1: 18:50

What comes up for you? What are you thinking as I'm saying this?

Speaker 2: 18:55

Everything from the starting out as in a caregiving role at a young age to really and I honestly I can remember us probably having this identical conversation somewhere along the way and I think I probably just forgot or slipped back into old habits, Because all of this lands 100% and needing to find that and I think probably one of the things that happened, you know, between my kids moving out, my mom moved out to a retirement home, so I think that probably turned the caregiving into overdrive, because I wanted to still feel kind of relevant in everybody's life. Um, you know, cause I'm I'm not really needed in the same role for either one of them as I was before. Um, but yeah, but yeah, that totally makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 1: 20:02

And so this is the thing, and I see this a lot right you get to this place where now your life circumstances are changing, especially when you did put your sense of value and identity towards caring for other people, and now the people you're caring for are now stepping away and onto something else, and it leaves you now going. Well, now who am I without this role?

Speaker 2: 20:31

Yes, yeah, that's what it is, a hundred percent, yeah, and I and I think one of the reasons I've struggled with this so much is because I've been in this role I don't want to say my whole life, but it feels like it Cause I was in this role from the time I was young, so it just that just kind of feels that's who I am. So then, you know, I'm left asking myself, well, if that isn't in fact who I am, or that's not the healthiest way to proceed with that, as you said, it's better to proceed from a place of overflowing.

Speaker 1: 21:11

Then I then yeah.

Speaker 1: 21:17

Then I then yeah, so, like you've mentioned, we've kind of touched upon some of these themes before in our in sessions. And this is the thing is you know, oftentimes with healing it's not like, okay, I've addressed it, now it's done and I can move on to something different. Oftentimes you know we've also discussed this it can be the spiral where it comes back around again so that you can look at another layer of it. Okay, and you've looked through some of these layers and you've done some work and healing on moving forward from some of this and the fact that this change in your, the situation with your family and there's been so many things that have changed that it's kind of now brought up another layer for you to look at about this particular theme, so that you can heal another layer of it, so that you can move forward another step.

Speaker 2: 22:11

Okay, does that make sense? Yes, yeah, that does make make sense.

Speaker 1: 22:15

That makes a lot of sense and the other piece that I'll mention, um, just from your astrology chart, is that so? I can't remember if we've ever talked about chiron or if you know about chiron. No, so chiron is the wounded healer.

Speaker 1: 22:31

Everyone has one, and when you look at your astrology chart, it looks like um, like a key, like a k with a circle on the bottom so when you look at your astrology chart, you'll see that now the key with chiron is that you know it represents, like the eyes through which we're looking at life in terms of the wounded parts, and the point of Chiron is actually to be able to do the inner work to alchemize those wounds into powerful purpose and what's really important for you to know, especially at this time in your life.

Speaker 1: 23:13

So your Chiron is an Aries. Now Chiron makes a full turn of the astrological circle, the astrological wheel, every 50 years approximately. So around the age of 50, chiron comes back at exactly the same point where it was when you were born. And so what that means is when Chiron comes back to that point, there's like this energetic thing, because Chiron is like where it was when you were born and it really brings out this energy. And this is kind of like when that happens, all the wounds that you haven't healed and alchemized yet are going to come up for you to look at. Great. Does that make sense? Yes, and I mean this kind of makes sense of why this is coming up for you right now.

Speaker 2: 24:00

Yeah, so I'll be 50 next month. Right, yes.

Speaker 1: 24:03

And here's the thing about the Chiron in Aries. So the energy of the sign Aries is all about like me first, take care of me. And so when you have a wound in Aries, it means that you have trouble putting yourself first and taking care of yourself first. Okay, Does that make sense?

Speaker 2: 24:27

Oh yeah, yes, that makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 1: 24:30

Can you see how that might be associated with what you just talked about?

Speaker 2: 24:34

Yes, definitely, yeah, I can really see that.

Speaker 1: 24:40

And so, in order to a piece of the puzzle, to alchemizing this wound and this theme, is you now stepping forward into, instead of prioritizing, taking care of everybody else first as your sense of purpose and identity? Is you now putting yourself first and taking care of you and finding that sense of value of you being a human being, regardless of what you're doing to help other people, being regardless of what you're doing to help other people? And I would gather that part of this for you and this is a really apt time for you to do this is spend some time really discovering, well, who is Rebecca and what does Rebecca actually want, not what other people want Rebecca to do and who are you outside of taking care of other people?

Speaker 2: 25:40

I'm just writing all of this down to make sure. I know I'm recording this, but I sometimes writing. It helps Totally.

Speaker 1: 25:47

Okay, okay, take a breath. Nice, deep breath. Let's take another one.

Speaker 2: 26:01

That was big, wasn't it? That was huge, yes.

Speaker 1: 26:06

How is that landing for you? How does that? How is that feeling for you? If you're going to like, tell me what, what's going on inside your body right now me what, what's going on inside your body right now?

Speaker 2: 26:21

um, honestly, it feels like a lot of that really landed very strongly with me, but it has left me really confused. Um, because those questions that you have there toward the end and I know it's not just a, okay, I'm just gonna, you know, an answer is not just gonna be there. It's gonna take some time and some processing, um, but that's. Those are huge questions that I just don't even know where to start to answer them okay, so this is the thing is a.

Speaker 1: 26:52

You don't have to have all the answers right now, so there's no need to put pressure on yourself to be like, but I don't know the answer. I need to figure this out now. Understand that these answers they are big questions. Sorry, these questions are big questions and they can take a lifetime to answer, right, so you don't need to have them answered, like, by the end of today, right?

Speaker 2: 27:16

right, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 27:18

And if you take a look at it like you know, these questions, in this concept of you really actually getting more connected with who you are in your own personal identity, think of it like a big meal on a plate. Okay, okay, like this big, overflowing dish of delicious food, but you're not going to take the whole plate and shove it in your mouth all at once. Okay, right, like it's, it's impossible to do that, so you're just going to take off one. You're going to cut off one bite at a time and you'll take the bite that's right in front of you and you'll take that and you'll chew on it and you'll savor it and you'll work through it and once it's chewed, then you can swallow it and then you can move on to the next bite. Does that make sense?

Speaker 1: 28:10

yeah that does. Does that help at all in terms of?

Speaker 2: 28:14

oh yeah, yeah, that definitely does, yeah and I mean, this is the thing.

Speaker 1: 28:21

A really big piece of this puzzle is, you know, giving yourself compassion and grace and understanding, like it doesn't need to be, like I have to have this all figured out right now. And whatever you know, choices, and however you've been in the past, you've done because that's what you thought you needed to do in order to survive, in order to get your needs met. It's just that the things that help us to survive aren't necessarily the things that actually help us to really thrive.

Speaker 2: 28:54

Right yeah, that's definitely thrive. Right yeah, that's definitely true, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 29:02

And so I know I may have just opened up like a whole can of worms here for you. Well, I think the can was already cracked, so but yeah the can was already cracked, so but yeah, do you see any association with this, this theme that I've just kind of kind of like reflected back to you and the anxiety that you've been experiencing lately?

Speaker 2: 29:28

oh yeah, definitely, definitely, because it's not even though I feel like it's my way of controlling things, it's really not at all and it's probably the opposite, has probably the opposite effect, because it's not coming from a place of, it's not coming from the right place.

Speaker 1: 29:56

You just mentioned a really powerful word here controlling things Control.

Speaker 2: 30:06

Tell me a little bit about that. Generally speaking, I don't feel like I need to have control over everything in order to I mean, I have accepted a level of chaos and uncertainty before it used to be a thing, you know, I had to have everything planned out, mapped out. I had to know exactly how I was going to react in any given situation at any given moment. And I I've ditched that long ago Cause that didn't so I I do. I don't think I operate totally from a whole need to control things all the time. Uh, I can accept things, you know, sort of as they come, um, but I think, in terms of just trying to be able to identify what I can control and what I can't control, I just try to have an awareness of that.

Speaker 1: 31:01

And so you've kind of mentioned, like you know, this tendency to want to take care of other people and then worrying when someone isn't doing well. There's this anxiety that comes up and it sounds like maybe there's an association here with, like, trying to feel in control of something that you don't feel in control of. Yeah, probably. Well, this is the thing about anxiety, right. What tends to happen is so with depression, it's oftentimes there's this tendency to be looking back at the past, right, and lamenting about it, and you know, versus anxiety tends to be looking at the what, ifs and the future and the things like all the scenarios in our mind, to try to gain a sense of control over something that we don't necessarily feel in control of.

Speaker 2: 31:52

Yes.

Speaker 1: 31:54

Yeah, what would you say for you in terms of those moments? Is it that you're, you know, doing some what ifs, or thinking about all the things that you potentially could do to try to bring back some control? Or is there something else there?

Speaker 2: 32:12

It's a lot of what ifs. It's, it's a lot of what ifs. Yeah, it's a lot of what ifs. It's a lot of kind of mental preparation for different scenarios okay, so, yeah, so you're part of you is going.

Speaker 1: 32:31

You know, I don't know what's going to happen here, so I'm going to prepare myself for every single outcome so that I'm not thrown off, you know, by some surprise.

Speaker 2: 32:44

Yes, and I just had a conversation with my son about it this weekend, because he shares a similar trait as I do, and I even told him and I could hear myself as I was telling him. I said you know, you could be spending all of this time preparing yourself for X, y and Z and the things that happen is A, b and C or nothing happens, you know. So you wasted all that time and mental energy preparing for something that isn't going to happen. Or you know something else happens and I could hear myself saying it. You know that logically.

Speaker 1: 33:17

Yeah, on an intellectual level you get it, yeah, but then it's there's this other part of you that's like but to actually put it into practice is a little trickier than that, right, it is, yes, mm-hmm, yeah, and so a couple of things to consider is what, if you take a look at here's one perspective to consider about you know, the anxiety and the what ifs and the mental preparation, there's a part of you that's kind of acting like a protective part.

Speaker 1: 33:56

Keep you safe by preparing you for anything and everything that could possibly happen, so that you don't feel like you've completely lost control of the situation. Right, yeah, yes, yeah, can you see this protective part? Can you see that? That that is a protective part oh, yes, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 34:16

Whose voice is it? I don't, I don't know, I just thought it was mine.

Speaker 1: 34:21

If you were to really kind of listen in and think about some past times where you can see oh yeah, that was a protective part, it's trying to keep me safe. What does it sound like?

Speaker 2: 34:34

It sounds like my voice okay okay, I know my voice yeah, which I think is one of the reasons why it's so hard in that moment, because it's it feels like it's something that's happening in my mind. So it absolutely has to be true. This need for this absolutely has to be true, because it's happening in my head, so, so it must be true, okay.

Speaker 1: 34:57

I'm going to write something down and mention this in a second. So first I want to ask you how does this voice of yours talk to you when you're in this moment of, like the what ifs and the mental preparation? Is there a particular way it talks? Is it gentle and quiet and kind, or is it angry? Or is it upset? Or is it mean, or is it loud?

Speaker 2: 35:25

Matter of fact, it's just it's. It's not gentle or kind, but it's also not mean. It's just a this is just what we need to do. Yeah, just, it's just a. This is just what we need to do. Yeah, it's just sort of very declarative matter of fact. It's not. I would say it's neutral in terms of emotion. Okay, great.

Speaker 1: 35:45

I'm not sure if we've discussed this before. Have you ever heard of the concept that you are not your thoughts. You are the observer of your thoughts? Yes, I have. I have heard that. So if you are able to witness this voice, it means that it's not you, you're just the one observing it.

Speaker 2: 36:06

Okay, yeah, are you with me so far yep, okay.

Speaker 1: 36:12

So if you were to kind of imagine yourself as like this?

Speaker 1: 36:19

So if you were to kind of imagine yourself as like this observer maybe sitting in a theater, and this matter of fact voice that sounds like you gets on stage and be like this is what we need to do. We need to think about all these things so that we can prepare ourselves for the worst case scenarios. If you were to observe this voice standing on stage talking to you, can you get a sense of, maybe, what this character's name might be or what this character looks like or what they might be wearing?

Speaker 2: 36:52

well, yes, yes, uh, I'm picturing the, the animated movie hercules, and there's two little characters pain and panic. And panic is this little purple guy with horns and he just kind of runs around and being panicked okay, so you can visualize this.

Speaker 1: 37:17

I haven't seen the movie, but okay, you can visualize this character that's running around with purple horns in a panic, yeah, yeah. So when you think about this matter of fact voice, thinking about all the what ifs and the mental preparation especially when somebody is not doing well in your family and you start questioning what do I need to do in order to be the most effective to help this person Is there, can you see potentially any association with this character? Panic, can you see panic speaking these voices?

Speaker 2: 37:56

Yes, and honestly, when you said that, when you said picture them on the stage, picture watching them, if I were to truly do that in my mind I would be thinking this dude needs to really calm the heck down. Like once you have it outside of my head and it's somebody else saying the words, like I wouldn't, I wouldn't listen to that little critter.

Speaker 1: 38:24

This is. This is great. There's another step I'm going to guide you through, to kind of help you through this. But this the first step here, and I love how quickly you've moved through this to kind of like disassociate yourself from this, this protective part, because it isn't you or you are the observer of it, right? And now you've put an identity, this to this protective part. It's this little purple horned character, and so now you can see that this purple horn character, yeah, and so now you can see that this purple horn character, it might not make logical sense, but it is trying to keep you safe in the best way that that particular character knows how. Okay, yeah, yes, yep, you safe based on survival, right, because this underlying survival belief that you've been carrying around with you all your life is if I'm not helping people and I'm not effective in helping people, then what's the point? I'm not relevant. So when people are showing up and they're not doing well, then this protective part kicks into gear, because you need to stay relevant.

Speaker 2: 39:39

Right.

Speaker 1: 39:40

Right.

Speaker 2: 39:41

Right.

Speaker 1: 39:42

And so what's going to be really important here is not to ignore this purple horn character or push it away or say oh, you know you're you don't know the right way to do it. It's trying and it has done its best with what it knows how to keep you safe, so it's doing its job.

Speaker 2: 40:03

Right.

Speaker 1: 40:04

Now. The key, though, is we're going to kind of have a discussion about how to not let it run the show. Okay, right, so it's not like in the driver's seat. Can you see how it has been in the driver's seat? Yes so this little purple horned character has been basically driving, driving the whole thing yes yeah yes okay. Do you want to name this character panic, or do you have a different name that you would like to name it?

Speaker 2: 40:37

I'm gonna going to go just go with that, since it was an actual character in the movie and that's what the character's name was Perfect.

Speaker 1: 40:44

Imagine that you are at a boardroom table. There's like it's a big table, there's all kinds of chairs around it, or a dining room table. You as the observer are kind of like leading this board meeting and so there's an available chair. So you've got all different parts of you sitting around this table and there is a chair available for panic. So offer panic this chair to come sit at the table, okay, okay. And imagine telling panic look, I see you're trying to keep me safe right now. I understand you're trying to help me stay relevant and feel like I have a place in this world and that I have value. What are, what are your major fears? What are the worries and the fears that are coming up for you when you're, when you start taking the driver's seat? And let me know what comes up, if anything comes up for you, when I ask that question.

Speaker 2: 41:57

Um being alone. That's the biggest one. Yeah, that's huge.

Speaker 1: 42:06

So this little guy is petrified being alone and this, this feels big. This, it's bringing up a lot for you right now, isn't it? It is yeah it's okay to feel that right now. Sorry, no need to apologize. How long has that fear been there for I?

Speaker 2: 42:42

think probably my whole life. Yeah, I think probably. Yeah, not sure I knew it, but yes, it's been there for quite a while.

Speaker 1: 42:57

Yeah, and this is the beauty of this work is and I know it's not easy right now. You're sitting through the feels right now of like, oh my god, this is big. And when you can actually put awareness to this piece of the puzzle, it no longer controls you the way it has in the past.

Speaker 2: 43:26

Okay, that would be good.

Speaker 1: 43:30

Can you see, maybe reflecting on some of you know a lot of the things from your you know past anxieties and choices and worries, how much of that might have been fueled by this fear of being alone? Absolutely yeah absolutely.

Speaker 2: 43:51

I really can see that it was a driving force that I just didn't even. I probably knew on some level that it was there, but I mean, it's certainly not something I walk around all day with, but at least not in my forefront of my consciousness, but yes.

Speaker 1: 44:11

And so this is the thing, especially in our early years, in our developmental years, before the age of eight especially, we're kind of like these subconscious sponges. We're taking in everything and we include things like safety and love and belonging. And if we, for one reason or another, don't have those needs met or have had experiences that left us lacking and having those needs met, then our subconscious will do everything that it takes to figure out how to get those needs met, even if it doesn't make logical sense. Right, you know, if you were alone, if you were left alone, if you were in the situation where you were in this place of being alone, from the examples that I've given you of the subconscious or developmental needs, is there anything there that stands out to you Like if you were alone and no one was there, then what?

Speaker 2: 45:32

You mean when I was a kid and I was alone.

Speaker 1: 45:37

Or now, whatever comes to mind now whatever comes to mind.

Speaker 2: 45:46

Well, I I did spend a lot of time when I was a kid alone. I was an only child, so I didn't have siblings, um, and mostly I just amused myself. I just found things, found ways of entertaining myself. I was a kid that spent the whole day outside in the summertime when I could. So I think I mostly just kind of did my own thing and didn't I mean, at the time I didn't really think much of it. You know, that's just kind of how I grew up.

Speaker 1: 46:13

Now outside of just like the general, you know. You know you amused yourself. You figured out how to get by on your own. I mean, there's one piece. I'll see if you can come up with this before I suggest it. When you're thinking about your caregivers and your like biological parents, is there any association with maybe something that you didn't get from either one of them?

Speaker 2: 46:45

Well, yes, I mean from my, my father, my parents were divorced when I was a kid, so he was just not, he wasn't around. And when he was around, he wasn't. He wasn't loving, he wasn't caring, he wasn't mean, he wasn't abusive, but it just I wasn't a priority, I wasn't loving, he wasn't caring, he wasn't mean, he wasn't abusive, but it just I wasn't a priority, I wasn't anything that needed to be on his radar. My mom was a single mother, so she worked a lot. When she wasn't working, she was with me, she was taking care of me and she was doing her best. But there were things that, yeah, that she didn't. We never had a healthy relationship.

Speaker 2: 47:29

As far as communication goes, you know, she would get mad at me and then she'd stop talking to me for a couple of days and then, when she was ready to be not mad at me anymore, she would just start talking to me. There was never any. Hey, this is why I'm mad. I just needed a couple of days to cool off kind of conversation. It was just I'm mad and now I'm not. So there was never that sort of um resolving whatever that issue was. That she was mad at me for Um. So, uh, you know, I probably kind of felt like at times I had to walk on eggshell, not eggs, eggshells. But just because I really wasn't sure you know what was going to make her mad, what was going to make her stop talking to me for a couple of days. So, yeah, I'm sure I probably subconsciously put a lot of systems in place to protect me from that.

Speaker 1: 48:21

So you know you've mentioned about your father. Sure, he wasn't mean or abusive, but maybe he didn't give you all the nurturing and love and attention that could have gone towards really giving you the developmental needs that you you, yeah, yeah, what's that I said?

Speaker 2: 48:41

he didn't give me any, wasn't even that, it wasn't enough, it just wasn't any Okay.

Speaker 1: 48:46

So you know it may or might. Might it might be a situation of you know, could there have been a little bit of like emotional neglect?

Speaker 1: 48:56

Oh yes, yeah, yes, and so that can be considered, you know, traumatic as well, right, and then your mom, you know, was there for you, but it sounds like she had her own emotional dysregulation stuff, and so there was this silent treatment that would happen when she was dysregulated, and so that kind of gave you the message of, if I don't control what's happening here and what I'm saying and what I'm doing, right, I need to walk on eggshells, otherwise she's going to leave me alone. Yeah, she's not going to talk to me, she's not going to give me attention and love.

Speaker 2: 49:39

Yes, yeah, so it's been, yeah, it's. It's been a thing my whole life, yeah, and the fear of being alone has been a thing my whole life.

Speaker 1: 49:53

And how much do you think you may have in order to make sure that you got that developmental need met of making sure that you had people around you, because in those early years, people would leave or ignore you or give you silent treatment or not give you the attention that you deserved, and so there was this learning of. Well, I just need to change who I am, put myself to the side and prioritize making sure other people are taken care of and so that they don't leave me.

Speaker 2: 50:28

Yes, yes, I have as I've gotten older and different people have come into my life and I've kind of been sort of a chameleon, even to myself. You know, we've talked about the issues that I've had with my in-laws over the years and, quite honestly, my issues with them don't really. I don't really change for them because I'm afraid of them leaving me. I just do what I have to do to survive when I'm around them. So I'm a completely different person when I'm around them, because I can't be the me that I am safely when I'm around them. So it's, you know, it's just sort of a bare minimum kind of thing. So, but I have found that I've done that with a lot of people. You know I'm the person I need to be to survive in that environment. But I will say in the last four or five years I've gotten more comfortable in my own skin, that I realize I am who I am and if people are here for it, great. If not, that's totally understandable too.

Speaker 1: 51:38

And I know we've done a lot of work on that. Yes, okay, by the way, it sounds like and there might be this piece. I don't know if you've ever heard of masking. Oh, yes, yeah, would you say that that might be a piece of it?

Speaker 2: 51:54

Yeah, definitely, definitely. And I think in doing so I've not only hidden myself from other people, I've hidden it from myself, because I feel like that's who I truly am. I'm the person that can just sort of shift and change and be whatever I need to be in different circumstances. So I actually attribute that to being a quality that I have, rather than just a coping mechanism that keeps me hidden from my actual self. So I think that's why I have a hard time being able to answer questions like what do I want? Who am I? What do I need? Because I've hidden it from myself for so long, just so I can survive, that now I just don't know anymore.

Speaker 1: 52:38

You do know. However, you might not be fully connected to that inner knowing that knows, okay, right, maybe you might not fully trust it, you might not fully understand the language through which it speaks. Okay, but all of it, all of it is in there now. It's just a matter of remembering, okay all of it.

Speaker 2: 53:03

Does that make sense?

Speaker 1: 53:05

yes when I say that, how does that help at all in terms of like, oh my god, where are these answers?

Speaker 1: 53:12

oh, yeah, it helps tremendously okay, going back to this boardroom table and you've given Panic a seat at the table and now you've asked Panic like, okay, I see you're trying to keep me safe right now through worrying and worst case scenarios and what ifs and all the things to keep you prepared. Now you know that the reason why Panic is doing this is because they're afraid to be alone. You may or may not have an answer to this, but now if you ask panic, okay, I see now You're really afraid to be alone. I see, now that you are doing these things to make sure that that doesn't happen, things to make sure that this, that doesn't happen.

Speaker 2: 54:03

If you were to ask panic, so panic what do you think would happen if you ended up being alone? I think that the scariest thing to me about being alone is the fact that I don't really feel connected to myself, mm-hmm. So it's not just an aloneness from the people around me, it's an aloneness from myself. Like that I just don't have a really deep connection with myself or I don't know myself that well. That that's the kind of aloneness that I think I'm really truly afraid of, because if I didn't have the people around me, or if somehow the people around me left me, then I would feel really unfulfilled and really alone because I don't have a strong relationship with myself. That's the alone I'm afraid of. That's huge.

Speaker 1: 55:04

It is huge that is a huge, a huge recognition and awareness that you just came to. Can you see that? Yeah, yeah, this, this purple horned character sitting at the boardroom table and you're having this conversation with him and you're going? Okay, I see now you're afraid of being alone because we don't feel connected to ourself and you're afraid that if you don't have people around you, then there's no connection with anything.

Speaker 2: 55:42

Right.

Speaker 1: 55:43

Yeah, you know, part of this conversation you can have with this character saying I see you're trying to protect me because it doesn't feel safe to not have any connections at all, right, you don't have connections externally, then there's no connection, right, yeah. And so you know, part of this discussion is actually thanking panic for trying to help you, because that's what it was trying to do, right, he's trying to help you to to prevent you from feeling unsafe. And feeling unsafe is when you don't have any connections Right. And when there's no external connections because you haven't been connected with yourself, then there's no connections at all, right. And then what happens? When there's no connections you don't have external connections and there's no internal connection, then what happens?

Speaker 2: 56:42

It's kind of too frightening to think about. I just feel like I would be a kite without a string just kind of floating off into.

Speaker 1: 56:54

So these connections to other people have been the things that have kept you grounded to, to your life, to being you. Yes, yes. So this is the thing when we look to the external to to bring us the thing that actually would be best served to come from inside of ourselves, it will never actually fully fulfill that need. Right, right, kind of like I said earlier, it causes you to give more than what you actually get back and then eventually that back bank account goes into overdraft. Yes, and that's when the burnout happens and all the things. So now that you've had this realization with this character, panic and you're like, oh, I see what's happening and you can see like panic is just trying to help you, yes, and so thanking panic, and now that you can see this connection, can you see that the solution to the connection is actually to start doing more of the work to actually connect with you on the inside.

Speaker 2: 58:10

Oh, yeah, absolutely yes.

Speaker 1: 58:14

And so we're going to go over a couple of practical things that you can do to start to connect with yourself and the inside and actually find your own kite string right From within you so that you are attached to, so that you grow roots like a tree right, so that you're more centered within yourself and you're not going to fly off like a kite without a string when other people aren't around. And so when you notice that panic shows up, this character shows up and it's like, oh my God, I need to think about all the what ifs, because, especially when a family member isn't doing well and you know that traditionally those coping and protective mechanisms have been like I need to take care of other people, because if they leave, then I have no connections, right. And so part of this is going to be this discernment of having the awareness in the moment of like I see you panic, take a seat, let's talk. Thank you for trying to help me. I see now that you're trying to keep us safe, because if these people aren't around then we don't feel any connection, and that's what helped us to survive, and let's try a new way that's going to help us feel connected in a way that we can now thrive.

Speaker 1: 59:46

Does that make sense? Right, and we're going to talk about some practical things in a minute, but this is going to be where, now, you can have this conversation and talk to this character like you would, maybe like a scared child. Okay, right, with compassion and kindness, and help them to understand. Hey, let's go this way, let's try it this way now. Does that make sense? Mm-hmm, like, how might you talk to a scared child who's feeling like, oh my God, I'm scared, this is going to happen? What would you say?

Speaker 2: 1:00:24

I would try to be reassuring, I would try to probably divert their attention from whatever they're focusing on into something a little less scary, a little more positive.

Speaker 1: 1:00:37

Mm-hmm, can you see yourself speaking to this panic character like that? Yes definitely, and if you were going to imagine having that conversation, do you get a sense as to how panic might react?

Speaker 2: 1:00:54

I would think, react favorably and be able to pivot in the moment and be open to moving in a different direction in the moment and be open to moving in a different direction.

Speaker 1: 1:01:05

Yeah, the first thing that I'm going to do is I'm going to give you a website, okay, and I'm just going to pull it up here, and then I'll put it in the chat. So this website is selfcompassionorg. So it's self-compassionorg and I'll put it here in the chat.

Speaker 2: 1:01:27

Okay.

Speaker 1: 1:01:28

Now, this particular website is run by a scientific researcher. Her name is Dr Kristen Neff and she researches self-compassion. And you know, studies are showing over and over again how helpful self-compassion. And you know studies are showing over and over again how helpful self-compassion is for so many things markers for health, resilience, anxiety, burnout, like all so many different things. Can you see how self-compassion can be maybe an important puzzle piece in connecting with you on the inside?

Speaker 2: 1:02:03

Yes.

Speaker 1: 1:02:04

Yeah, definitely, definitely. And if you were to rate the level of self-compassion that maybe you have or have had for yourself, where do you think you might put that? Maybe on a scale of one to 10?

Speaker 2: 1:02:19

Oh, maybe a one or two, okay, yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:02:25

So, when you check out this website, the particular page link I sent you is for self-compassion practices, okay, and you're going to see two different tabs, three different tabs on the top. The first tab is called guided practices, so there's about a dozen audio recordings of various lengths, from five minutes to 20 minutes, and they are all guided visualizations and guided meditations that you can listen to. That will help you to deepen your sense of compassion for yourself, okay, and one of them is the loving kindness meditation. So it helps you to develop compassion for yourself and for others and, of course, the more compassion you have for yourself, the more that you compassion you can have for others without burning yourself out, okay that makes sense.

Speaker 1: 1:03:24

Now, the second tab is self-compassion exercises. There's eight of them listed. I would say have a look at all of them. Some of them might resonate for you more than others, okay, and you might find one or two that feel like interesting ones to try out for yourself. Okay, and between them, between the guided visualizations and the exercises you're going to, I would suggest that you try to make a habit of picking something, one of these things to do every day for yourself.

Speaker 1: 1:03:58

Okay, whether it's a guided visualization or that you're going to listen to or that you're going to do one of these exercises. There's supportive touch. There's exercise eight is taking care of the caregiver. I think that one might be especially apt for you. Okay, there's one exercise. Exercise seven is identifying what we really want. Uh, there's one exercise. Exercise seven is identifying what we really want. So that one, you might find it maybe a little bit more tricky to navigate at the beginning, and that's okay. Okay, you don't need to have any of these perfect right off the get-go. Okay, and that's part of the journey of self-compassion is giving yourself grace even if it's not exactly the way you wanted it to be right away. Okay, does that make sense?

Speaker 2: 1:04:46

Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 1: 1:04:49

How do you feel about this concept? How do you does this sound like something that you feel like you could commit to?

Speaker 2: 1:04:57

Yes, oh, definitely yeah, cause it's something that I don't have a lot of experience with. So, yes, I think it would be a good thing. Yeah, where were we Converse?

Speaker 1: 1:05:15

Okay, well, now that you've had a couple minutes to kind of like I guess we kind of had a bit of an intermission, forced intermission, yes, um, just in case I'll just mention for anyone who's listening, my computer just restarted on its own, so we just had a few minutes there, a little break. Okay, how are you doing after kind of sitting with us for a couple minutes and after everything that we've talked about?

Speaker 2: 1:05:47

honestly, I feel a lot lighter. I feel there's a clarity that I didn't have before and a bigger, a better understanding of things than I had before, and everything just makes so much sense now. You know the patterns that I've gotten into, the things that have been put in place to keep me protected, and how it kind of all formed together into this whatever. So, yeah, even though I'm not speaking clearly, there's a lot more clarity than there was before.

Speaker 1: 1:06:32

This is the thing when you can understand what's actually happening, then you know that's empowering. Yes, that's when all those survival parts that we're trying to control the show you can now see them for what they are yes and when that happens, then you can take a step back from allowing them to control you, and you can kind of I don't like to use the word control, but you kind of take the wheel back right when you can see it for what it is yes, yeah, yeah, definitely definitely kind of like, you know, when you open the curtain behind the Wizard of Oz and recognize that it's not this big, mean, powerful thing that's controlling the world.

Speaker 1: 1:07:26

It's actually some old guy with trick levers.

Speaker 2: 1:07:30

Yes, yeah, yeah, there's definitely, definitely feels like there's been a curtain pushed aside and there's definitely clarity. And yes, you're right, it's absolutely empowering to think okay, well, I'm just not at the whim of just randomness, like there is stuff going on that I can see clearly now, and that's a much better feeling than just kind of feeling like you're kind of caught in a whirlpool of stuff that you can't identify and can't kind of swim your way out of.

Speaker 1: 1:08:01

You can't identify and can't kind of swim your way out of. Yeah, and this is the thing as well and this is a really important piece of the puzzle I've already kind of touched upon it but I just want to kind of rephrase it to help kind of sink it in is when we look to our external world to try to like get the things that we need right Connection, validation, to try to like get the things that we need right connection, uh, validation, we're looking to the external world to help make us safe, that's we're leaking our power to it yes right, because we can never fully control it.

Speaker 1: 1:08:37

And even if we were able to control the people and the situations looking to the external without actually also fulfilling something in the internal, it's always going to, there's always going to be this like empty spot that needs filling. And that empty spot you can never fully fill from looking outside of yourself, right.

Speaker 2: 1:09:01

Does that make sense?

Speaker 1: 1:09:02

That totally makes sense, it sounds like your job now, right your purpose, moving forward into this next phase of your life, because really you are in this new phase of your life. Yeah, yes, new phase of your life.

Speaker 1: 1:09:19

yeah, yes, Is to, if you choose to take this, this challenge is, this phase is about you now connecting with you, and a big piece of that is you developing compassion for yourself, and what happens is and actually scientific studies prove this to be true right, the more compassion that you have for yourself. This is how you can connect to that inner voice that has the answers. Okay, this is how you connect to your intuition and trust. It is being able to develop more compassion for yourself, because that's when your nervous system is going to be more. It's going to feel safer, right, instead of worried. Oh my God, if I'm not doing exactly what I need to to control my external environment, then I'm going to be alone to to control my external environment that.

Speaker 1: 1:10:25

I'm going to be alone, right. That doesn't feel safe for your nervous system, no, no, no, not at all. And so a piece of helping and supporting your nervous system because your nervous system, right, if that's out of balance, everything is going to be out of balance, right. And so part of this supporting your nervous system is you now being connected with you, you having compassion for you, you having gentleness and grace and learning to meet yourself, and the more your nervous system feels supported and the more your nervous system feels safe, then the more access that you're going to have to your own answers. And so understand that. You know I mentioned earlier that this is a bit of a journey. You're not going to have all the answers like tonight, right, but understand that how you are going to get the answers is through connecting to your intuition, and how you connect to your intuition is to have a compassionate and kind and loving relationship with yourself.

Speaker 2: 1:11:34

That makes total sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that absolutely makes total sense, and that's a big piece I've been missing. Yeah, yeah, that absolutely makes total sense and that's a big piece I've been missing.

Speaker 1: 1:11:44

Mm-hmm. Yeah, and that's not uncommon. Yeah, there's an epidemic of emotional dysregulation that's passed down generationally, right, and so especially when your parents were in this place of emotional dysregulation because they didn't know how to deal with their stuff yeah, then it's just going to. This emotional dysregulation is going to pass down to you in one way or another and cause your nervous system to feel dysregulated, right, and cause you to be operating out of survival mode to try to meet those needs, right, and I mean this is the thing. If you can take a step back and look at all of society can, can you see how much of that is going on?

Speaker 2: 1:12:31

Oh, yes, people, yeah, yeah, even just in my little circle of friends. You know, we've nicknamed ourselves the cycle breakers. Nicknamed ourselves the cycle breakers because we're, you know, trying to not keep passing that along and not keep keep perpetuating that cycle Absolutely, and so you already see yourself as the cycle breaker.

Speaker 1: 1:12:54

Can you see how this might be a piece of your kind of deeper inner purpose?

Speaker 2: 1:13:00

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1: 1:13:01

And I want to offer up that the biggest key to breaking that cycle is for you to be so connected to yourself with compassion that you are shining your authenticity and being who you're really here to be, with loving, kindness and compassion. And that is such an important puzzle piece to this cycle breaking and to you stepping into the truth of what your actual soul purpose is as a human being.

Speaker 2: 1:13:34

Yes, I see that, I totally can see that.

Speaker 1: 1:13:39

Now, when I mentioned all of these things, how is, how is this landing for you, especially with what you mentioned earlier about like, oh my God, like this is so big, I don't even know what to do with this.

Speaker 2: 1:13:50

Well, it's definitely as you said before with the dinner plate example. It's definitely feeling like it's cutting it down into smaller bites. It's not just this big idea of what do I want and who am I. And, like I realize now that I can't get to that answer just by directly asking that question. You have to go further down the path to get to that answer. It's not necessarily a direct point A to point B connection. You have other points along the way that you have to hit before you get to point B. So that I'm understanding that now.

Speaker 1: 1:14:25

Yes, I love it. Yeah, Now one other piece. I just want to bring up your human design chart that you sent me, Because there's something really relevant here that might be an interesting point. Okay, so first of all, you know from your human design chart that you have like two colored in areas and the rest is not colored in, right?

Speaker 2: 1:14:51

When you look at the picture.

Speaker 1: 1:14:54

It's really interesting because I have a similar kind of chart. It's not the bottom two but the middle two for me that are colored in and the rest is open. Okay, yeah, so you can see like there's two colored parts and then the rest are not colored in, right? So what's really interesting is I have a lot of my clients have this particular type of pattern of like only two defined centers and the rest is open. Now what that means is all those centers that are not colored in, they're called undefined or open. When they're undefined, it means there's channels coming out of them still, so you can see like red and black lines or white, I think with your chart those are undefined centers, and if you don't have any channels at all, there's no lines at all. That means that they're completely open. And so what that means is those undefined and open centers are the places where you are more apt to be picking up on energy and things from the outside, from the external world, because you're not fully defined in those areas for yourself, from within yourself.

Speaker 1: 1:16:08

Okay. So, especially when it comes to, like, other people's moods and feelings, other people's thoughts, other people's awareness, all of those things you're picking up on other people's stuff. Oh yes, and sometimes it can be a little bit challenging to discern whether or not that's coming from you or if it's other people. Okay, does that make sense? So a couple of really key, important things to point out here and I know a lot about this because this is my chart. Too right, I only have two defined centers, okay, and so what's really important is, first of all, when you have a chart like this, it's actually really important for you to have time on your own, away from other people's energies, so that you can recharge yourself and bring yourself back to center and recalibrate yourself, like away from the influence of other people's stuff. Okay, does that make sense? But that's really interesting that you know one of your protective parts is probably trying to keep you from actually doing that.

Speaker 2: 1:17:14

It's keeping me from taking time on my own to recharge.

Speaker 1: 1:17:19

Would you say that that might be true or no?

Speaker 2: 1:17:22

No, I think it is. I think that is possibly true. I'm just wondering if taking time away and recharging my battery is a good thing. How would be? How is it protective that I'm keeping myself from doing that Like why?

Speaker 1: 1:17:35

is that, well, that little part of you that's afraid of being alone, that's afraid of being alone, okay, okay, yeah, yeah, you know, I'm just bringing this to your awareness so that you can kind of see, even like when it plays out right, because you might you know now that you're seeing like it would benefit me to have time away from other people's energies, but then you might find it to be actually a little bit challenging to give yourself that time, because then you're on your own and you're like, oh my gosh, but now I have no connections yeah so I'm kind of pointing this out so that you can, when you come up against this because I have a sense that that'll probably happen right is to recognize that what's happening and go.

Speaker 1: 1:18:25

Oh, I see, like I know that alone time right now would be helpful, and there's all these, you know, panic is showing up, going, yeah, but you can't do that because then you're alone. Yes, oh, my gosh, right, yeah, and that'll be another time for you to go. Okay, I see what's happening right now. Yeah, and then have that loving conversation with reassurance, right as you would to a child have this conversation with yourself I see what's happening.

Speaker 1: 1:18:58

I see, I'm afraid that if I'm not connected to people around me, I'm gonna feel alone. But we're trying it differently now and we're working on connecting to ourselves now, and that means that we're always going to be there yeah, does that make sense? Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And how does that land does that?

Speaker 2: 1:19:21

it lands like it feels like it should have been obvious. But I, yeah, it's kind of like a big like light bulb like oh, of course that makes sense, I need that. But I'm not doing that because I don't want to be alone.

Speaker 1: 1:19:38

But I need to be alone sometimes want to be alone, but I need to be alone sometimes, so here's the thing there's no need to should right we don't need to right. Yeah, yeah, that just makes a big mess. Yeah, you, you were. You saw what you were capable of seeing at the time, right, and so you are now, because you can see this now. It just represents and shows like you are now at a place where you're ready to see it.

Speaker 1: 1:20:03

Yes, yeah, yeah, that makes a lot of sense so, yeah, alone time and you know, even kind of expecting that panic might show up and to give panic a seat at the table and have that reassuring conversation, and you might even want to find things that you can do to kind of like ease yourself into alone time in a way that feels safe. And that might be doing something like pulling up one of the self-compassion guided meditations, because, yes, you're going to be alone and doing something for yourself and you've got someone guiding you through it. Yeah, that's.

Speaker 1: 1:20:45

That's, I think, a nice kind of bridge between being alone and connecting again yeah, and you know reminding you yourself that you are safe yes, right that you are safe, yes, right that you are here and you've got it. Now You've got your back, yes, and you know, reassuring that part of you like I'm not leaving that feels like that might be a big one for you. Yes, yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:21:18

Yeah, that is huge.

Speaker 1: 1:21:21

That might be a mantra that you might want to remind yourself I'm not leaving, I'm here now. And you might want to even consider maybe putting it on like a post-it note and putting it somewhere, or making your phone wallpaper or something yes, right, so then you can see that and keep reminding yourself of that.

Speaker 2: 1:21:41

Mm, hmm. No, that's an excellent idea, because you're there you got your, you got your back.

Speaker 1: 1:21:47

I got my back. Now the other thing I just wanted to point out about there's a couple of things. So you're a five, one profile. I don't know if you've ever heard of like the lines. There's six numbers and we all have a combination of two numbers and they can help us to better understand an aspect about ourselves. And so you have the two numbers, five and one.

Speaker 1: 1:22:18

Now the five line represents a leader, and so with a five line, you're here to kind of lead positive change, which you've already affirmed with, like you know, you already know you're the cycle breaker. That is a prime example of being in leadership, of leading a new way. But here's the hick when it comes to the five line is so the people who are your tribe, the people who get you, the people you really connect with, they're going to eat, eat it up, they're going to love you, they're going to follow you, they're going to hear what you say and you are going to be a wonderful, like positive influence for them. Okay, but the people who are not your tribe, the people who don't get you, the people who are not at the same radio station frequency as you, you're probably going to trigger them, okay, because you're, you're speaking truth that they don't want to hear, right, they don't want to look at their stuff, so instead they're going to be provoked. Does that make sense? Yeah, can you see that, looking back on situations in the past about people weren't your people and how they may have been like provoked or triggered or upset or whatever, definitely, absolutely, and so that just it's just kind of like a confirmation of like, this is kind of what's going to happen when you're around people who aren't kind of like your people, and part of this is going to be you not taking it personally and you not taking it as there's something wrong with you or that you need to change in order for them not to get triggered, because you, being the cycle breaker and a leader for change, is actually you staying strong in yourself, okay, and understanding that their reaction has everything to do with them and not you.

Speaker 1: 1:24:19

Okay, right, mm-hmm, them and not you. Okay, right. And if you ever need a reminder of that, if you go to the online program, right, there's that whole module about other people's stuff and that might be a helpful reminder for you to like, just watch that. You know it's about their projections and they're like they don't want their truth poked. Yes, so their protective parts are going to come out to try to protect that they don't have to look at it. That's where. That's where the reactions come from. When you look back on situations where you have provoked or triggered people, can you see how their reactions may have been associated with with them, like not wanting to own something or look at something?

Speaker 2: 1:25:05

Oh yeah, oh yeah, most definitely yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:25:11

And can you see how that doesn't mean that you should change. Can you see how you actually staying strong in your center is actually going to be that cycle breaking action? Yes, yes, even though it's not easy sometimes.

Speaker 2: 1:25:32

No it is not, especially when you're somebody who is afraid of being alone. So you don't want to trigger anybody. You don't want to trigger anybody, you don't want to piss anybody off, you don't want to alienate anybody. So you shift yourself so that that doesn't happen. Exactly. But what ends up happening is then I'm not. I'm not keeping around the people that are in my tribe. I'm keeping everybody, regardless of whether they should be there or not. I'm keeping everybody, regardless of whether they should be there or not.

Speaker 1: 1:26:04

Yes, yeah, and that's what you believed you needed to do to survive. Yeah, I can't remember. Do you like to read or listen to audiobooks?

Speaker 2: 1:26:17

I do read. I'm not a prolific reader, but I do read.

Speaker 1: 1:26:26

Do you have Spotify? Yes, you have the premium, like you pay for it. Yes, perfect, okay. Okay, because you can. I don't know if you knew this you can access books on Spotify.

Speaker 2: 1:26:34

No, I did not know that. I just found out about that a few months ago, oh wow.

Speaker 1: 1:26:38

Okay, so you can go and listen to this book, and actually I think this is a really good book to listen to because of the way that it's like the way the book is set up. So it's called the Courage to be Disliked Ooh.

Speaker 2: 1:26:54

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 1: 1:26:59

I'm just going to look up the author's name, so I'll spell the first name it's I-C-H-I-R-O, and then the last name is K-I-S-H-I-M-I. Okay, and the book is set up. It's a conversation between a young man and a philosopher. Okay, so you're going to hear this back and forth conversation throughout the whole book and the philosopher is giving kind of perspective shifts and insights to help the young man understand. You know, it's not his task to try to get people to like him and it's actually keeping him from his own inner freedom.

Speaker 2: 1:27:37

Yeah, so that might give you some help. I'll give that a shot.

Speaker 1: 1:27:41

Yeah, and then it also kind of makes sense, going back to you know being alone and it doesn't feel safe to be alone. And it kind of makes sense then that when you're doing mundane tasks like driving, all of a sudden the panic character steps in because you're you're you, you know you're not involved with, like helping other people, right, maybe you're on your own. And then panic sets in and goes hey, you know, we need to think about all these things now and all the worst case scenarios and the what-ifs, so that we can prepare ourselves. And then, of course, when we're focused on the future instead of the present moment, that's when that those feelings of anxiety show up. Yes, and so those feelings of anxiety, you can, you might want to consider this perspective.

Speaker 1: 1:28:36

When feelings of anxiety show up, that is a message for you to let you know that you're no longer focused in being present and that the panic character is in overdrive right now, trying to keep you safe. Does that make sense? Yes, and so when those feelings of anxiety come up, like you've mentioned, like the heaviness and the like you mentioned here, you know these types of things are signs. Oh, I see these feelings and sensations are showing up right now that represent anxiety and instead of thinking like why is this happening to me or whatever, right, because then you feel out of control.

Speaker 1: 1:29:23

Yes, oh, I see these feelings of anxiety are showing up right now. That means I'm afraid of being alone, that the panic character is an overdrive right now and that I'm likely focused, over-focused, on the what-ifs to try to gain a sense of control. Okay, and then, if you're able to, in that moment and this might take some practice, right To kind of step back as the observer instead of being wrapped up in the panic character's energy, right Is, oh, I see what's happening right now, and this might be a really great time to imagine the boardroom and having that reassuring conversation with panic and being like I see You're really afraid of being alone right now and reminding panic. Okay, I got you. Now I'm here now.

Speaker 2: 1:30:20

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:30:24

Does that feel like that might be a helpful puzzle piece?

Speaker 2: 1:30:28

Oh my goodness. Yes, yeah, I think that's huge, especially the especially stepping back and observing it. I think that was, like probably the biggest thing that hit the hardest today is realizing that the thoughts and the anxiety isn't me, it's something I'm observing and actually being able to embody that in the character outside of myself. Like that's huge, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:30:56

And so you know, this is something that you can practice in many different areas, because it's always true that you are not your thoughts, you are the observer of your thoughts and you know this is especially important with you know the panic character and then with anxiety.

Speaker 1: 1:31:13

But this can be something that you can start to explore over time with other areas, when other different types of thoughts and protective parts might be showing up. Okay, okay, right, that you are not those parts, you are the one observing them. Okay, because at any time, if you can actually hear or you know, hear that a voice of some sort, whatever the voice is saying, that is just proof right there that you are not that thing, you are the thing, you are the one observing it. Okay, and I mean, I know that's a bit of a big concept that you might not see all it all, right now, right, just work with what we've been talking about today. Now, the other thing that could be helpful is when you're noticing yourself going into these places where panic is coming out, the character and like all the what-ifs are coming out. Now you're no longer present. The other thing that you can do is to support your nervous system.

Speaker 1: 1:32:09

So this is a really great time to pull out your tools, like do some deep breathing, right, always come back to the breath, because the breath really does regulate so much about what's going on with your nervous system. And you can pair it with, you could do like a bilateral stimulation, so you can either do this on your arms or on your legs right, it's just about gentle, tap, alternate. So tap, tap back and forth, left and right, nice and slow, and and you know, if you're out in public it can be a lot more discreet just do it on the top of your thighs, okay, right, and this is also a way that you can start to kind of support your nervous system, like I'm here, I'm here, I'm here now, I'm here. And you can maybe pair that with, like having that inner dialogue with at the boardroom table. Yeah, okay, does that feel like that could be some helpful practical tools for you in those moments?

Speaker 2: 1:33:14

absolutely, yeah, definitely. I mean the breath. I'm pretty good at that, I'm pretty consistent with that now anyway, and I have found that to be a really useful tool, and having something physical like the bilateral touch would be really a useful tool as well.

Speaker 1: 1:33:31

Yeah, um, if you like, would you like me to send you a recording, like a hypnosis recording, to listen to? That might be helpful for you to connect with yourself and become more grounded within yourself. Yes, please, okay, I'm just making that note. Do you use essential oils at?

Speaker 2: 1:33:54

all I did initially when we first started working together, and I've kind of gotten away from it a little bit, only so much as, like, I use lavender to help me sleep.

Speaker 1: 1:34:08

So, if you want to try again, that basic blend from the beginning might be something to go back to, and that's the one with the tea tree, clove, frankincense and bergamot.

Speaker 2: 1:34:20

Okay, yeah, I have that one written down in here.

Speaker 1: 1:34:25

Okay, perfect. So you know, if you want to make, if you don't already have like a little roller bottle or container to kind of like mix them up and then just fill it up with oil fractionated coconut oil or olive oil or whatever you have, okay, and this might be a really great thing to make a daily practice of of. When you get up in the morning, before you start interacting with other people and their energies, apply it to the soles of your feet, okay, and you can also apply it to your solar plexus. It's kind of like in between the bottom of your rib cage and your belly button, right in between, and that can be kind of like just a great way to kind of like clear out other people's stuff and like protect you from other people's stuff and just help you kind of like be more centered and connected to yourself.

Speaker 2: 1:35:20

Okay, yeah, I will definitely get back into that, yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:35:24

And then you can apply that like any other time you might feel called. If you feeling like I'd like to do this, I'd like to, you know, apply it again, go for it whenever you want, wherever you want on your body. And this is also a really great blend. If you know you're going to be interacting with people that are like either not your people or they're like a lot, yeah, you know, go ahead and apply it again before interacting with them. Okay, yeah, how does that sound? That sounds good.

Speaker 1: 1:35:56

And going back to the initial thing that you mentioned about like letting go Mm-hmm thing that you've mentioned about like letting go I would suggest that the thing here to consider is the fact that you've mentioned about like I need to feel.

Speaker 1: 1:36:11

The thing that you need to feel in control is making sure that you are connected with other people and helping other people, and that's probably the thing for you to work on. Letting go. Okay, I think this perspective is going to be more easily attainable for you. It's not about, yeah, but I need to get rid of those things, but think of it more this way and I see this more and more is, the more you connect with yourself, the more you find centered grounding and calm, confidence and presence within yourself, the less you're going to be grasping onto needing to control, needing to help others to find your sense of value, like these things that you're grasping onto to try to kind of fulfill the thing. Instead of thinking about it like I need to let go of these things, think of it like for me now it's about connecting to myself and you're naturally gonna let go of your grasp on those things. Okay, does that make sense?

Speaker 1: 1:37:16

yeah, that does make sense and I mean a little bit more of this might not land for you right now, but like there is this concept of surrender and just to kind of like plant the seed, because I don't think it's going to be something that's gonna. You might get it like in the mind level, but it might take a while for, like your being to get it is the surrender comes from, like you surrendering into your own connection with the present moment, with who you are, with yourself and your flow. But I think for you right now, the first step is actually to connect with yourself first, yes, and then you can start to explore this next step of like surrendering into the flow of your life. But first you need to create that strong foundation of you actually being connected with you, otherwise you'll end up feeling like a kite with no string.

Speaker 2: 1:38:18

Yes, does that make sense. Yes, that makes a lot of sense.

Speaker 1: 1:38:24

Yeah, so this is the other thing. Is everything that you see on social media right? Everyone is coming from their own perspective.

Speaker 2: 1:38:33

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:38:34

And what works for one person might not be where you're at and everyone's going to be sharing a different concept and you know from their own place. Yeah, and this is where you know it can be helpful to kind of create some boundaries around social media and what you're consuming and how. And if you're starting to get to a place where you're like, but I'm seeing all these things, but like I don't like it, just like I don't know, like how do I get there? That might be a really great place for you to stop and go. Okay, am I actually listening to myself right now or am I just like taking in what other people are telling me?

Speaker 2: 1:39:14

Yeah, yeah, and I feel like a deeper connection to myself will help filter those things out a lot better. Exactly.

Speaker 1: 1:39:23

Yeah, yeah. How are you feeling with all of?

Speaker 2: 1:39:26

this Good, honestly good. I mean. It's been a lot and it's been it's. It was a lot, but a lot of good and a lot of clarity and a lot more in touch with the direction I would like to go in.

Speaker 1: 1:39:45

Wonderful yeah, do you have questions for me?

Speaker 2: 1:39:52

In this moment, Not no, not that I can think of, because we really covered everything pretty pretty well. You explained everything very well. You kind of gave me different perspectives on how to approach this, and yeah, so I think now I just kind of need to absorb it, process it.

Speaker 1: 1:40:12

Yeah, and that'll take some time. Yeah, and just be compassionate and patient with yourself through that process.

Speaker 2: 1:40:20

Yes.

Speaker 1: 1:40:21

As I usually do at the end of a session, I always ask if you were to summarize some of the top things that stood out to you the most, that were the most impactful or helpful. What would you say some of those top things might be?

Speaker 2: 1:40:37

Well, the top number one the realization that if I truly get connected to myself better, if I work on that, then I won't ever be alone and I don't have to worry about being alone, because even if I am physically alone, I'm not alone. Yes, um, because I still have that connection and that a lot of the things that anxiety, panic, is just trying to help me and that I don't have to be afraid of it. I don't have to try and get rid of it necessarily. I have to understand what its purpose is, why it's there, and maybe shift panic's efforts in trying to help me into something a little bit more productive. So that's another big one to protect me, keep me safe. That I just kind of need to be aware of and just kind of figure out how to incorporate those into my operating procedure.

Speaker 1: 1:41:52

Yeah, and I mean, you know, awareness is always the first step, right, because you can't shift something that you can't see, right, and so now you're seeing another level, deeper, about all of this and how the puzzle pieces fit together right, and that's going to help you to, you know, find that way forward towards more thriving. Yes, definitely, yeah, give yourself a pat on the back for showing up for yourself today. Definitely, because I mean, I know this isn't hard to look at this stuff, right, it can feel uncomfortable.

Speaker 2: 1:42:28

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes the discomfort leaks right out my eyes and down my face Right.

Speaker 1: 1:42:39

It's okay to feel the feelings because, as with all things, this too shall pass.

Speaker 2: 1:42:44

Yes.

Speaker 1: 1:42:45

And when you are actually willing to face it and look at it without attaching onto it, without identifying with it, and let it flow through. That's when you find on the other side is where more of your freedom is.

Speaker 2: 1:43:01

Yes, I can see that a lot with a lot more clarity now, definitely.

Speaker 1: 1:43:08

Yeah, so now you've got some tools and some thoughts and some concepts and some practical things to start moving forward. Knowing that it sounds like this, you know this next step on your journey is really connecting with you and starting to learn more about who you are and what you actually want.

Speaker 2: 1:43:28

Yes, yeah, definitely I'm. I'm actually really excited about that. I'm really excited to get started on this Wonderful. I'm excited for you.

Speaker 1: 1:43:40

Thank you Wonderful. I'm excited for you. Thank you, and I would love for you to you know, do a little bit of contemplating, try out some of these exercises and send me an update on how things are going and where this is taking you, cause I really would love to know. Okay, I will do that. Yeah, and within the next couple of days, I will send you a hypnosis recording that you can use. Thank you so much for this.

Speaker 2: 1:44:07

Oh, thank you. Thank you for this. Thank you is not even strong enough, but thank you. I appreciate all of your insights and I appreciate your time very, very much. Thank you.

Speaker 1: 1:44:19

It's been my pleasure. Do you feel complete with today's session? I do. So, is it okay if I now close off the circle?

Speaker 2: 1:44:30

Yes, okay.

Speaker 1: 1:44:32

So that concludes the session that I had with Rebecca, and I mentioned there about how I was closing off the circle. Just so you know, whenever I have a one-to-one session with somebody, I do an opening and closing invocation, where I set the energy for the session so that we are both grounded and connected in a way that supports the growth, betterment and fulfillment of all concerned in the session, and then at the end of the session I close that off so that we can go our separate ways without having to carry the energy of the other person. So I hope that you enjoyed listening to this session and listening to Rebecca getting various light bulb moments, putting her puzzle pieces together so that she could understand herself with another level of clarity, and maybe you saw yourself in some of the things that we spoke about, and, if so, I hope this gave you some additional clarity for yourself and, as as well, some practical ideas on how to move forward into the next level of full potential for yourself. Now this session will give you an idea of what a single session reading is all about. I don't always offer single session readings. I will bring them out from time to time, and the purpose of these readings is to help you gain a level of clarity about yourself and something that might be keeping you from moving into that next level of potential or getting clear on the direction that you want to be taking with your life or your work, or getting clear on what it is that is your deepest inner purpose and, as you can see from the session that we had today, rebecca was able to get more clarity about herself and what was holding her back from stepping into more thriving in her life.

Speaker 1: 1:46:38

Now, to give you an idea of how I typically work with people, the next step on this journey would be to work in a longer term container, either a six week container or a six month container, supporting you and guiding you on the journey of more deeply connecting with yourself and your intuition with compassion and understanding and clarity, so that you can get super clear on what it is you actually want, who you really are, what your deepest inner purpose is and how to move from that just level of mentally understanding all of this to creating that inner paradigm shift where you're shifting from your level of being so that it becomes a natural part of your neural connection network and how you think and automatic responses so that you are operating from this level of thriving overflow versus some of the patterns that you have likely still been operating from in terms of survival behaviors, and every time we get together for a session or a Voxer day, you gain another level of clarity for yourself, along with practical ideas on how to make this happen, as well, as I'm always providing supportive tools and concepts to help you rewire your neurology. That, paired with the light bulb moments, the perspective shifts that you get with the light bulb moments, the perspective shifts that you get these are what create the sustainable, permanent change, because once you change how you're looking at something, then everything about you and the world around you changes, and once you see it differently, you can't unsee it. It's just the way it works. And, as you can see from the session that we had, rebecca and I had worked for a short time together around two years ago and she was able to gain a level of foundational perspective from that time that we worked together and, as you can see, there was another layer of what we had worked through in the past that came up again. And, as you can see, there was another layer of what we had worked through in the past that came up again, and I see this a lot when you are going through a life change, when something shifts in your world, in your life, like, say, for example, with Rebecca the kids moved out of the house and she had been caretaking her mother and her mother moved to a retirement home and now she's left going. Wow, so all of these roles that I thought were my identity are now gone.

Speaker 1: 1:49:33

Now I'm feeling all the things, and so, as I spoke about in the podcast episode before this one, I spoke about my own personal experience with coming up against a challenge that comes up again right before you end up going through an up level, right. So old patterns come back around and you might be saying, but I thought I dealt with all of this before. Why is this happening? It's happening for you to work through and alchemize so that you can step forward into that next level, towards more thriving, towards your full potential. Now, I had decided to create this podcast episode of showing you what it looks like behind the scenes when I work one-on-one with somebody, because, first of all, people are curious and I wanted you to see what that experience is like, because it can be difficult for me to actually try to explain it without actually showing you. So that's reason number one. Reason number two is because many themes that tend to come up with my clients are commonalities that many of my other clients can relate to, and so I wanted you to see some of the themes that sometimes come up with my clients, because you're probably seeing aspects of yourself within the session that we had today. I want you to also have light bulb moments.

Speaker 1: 1:51:06

Whether you work with me or not, my hope is that the things that I share here will help you on your path towards your full potential, towards widening your perspective, towards stepping into thriving and operating from the place of your inner soul purpose, and the other reason why I'm sharing this is because my genius, when I work with somebody, is actually to take you from this place where you now recognize these puzzle pieces, and now I guide you through the journey to make the transformational shifts where you are more deeply connected with yourself, where you are now operating from this intuitive place of inner knowing, where you know your answers, and I guide you to that place. What I tend to find is when you get the foundations from therapy and personal development work and all those other types of things and now you see some of your puzzle pieces, that's when my work will skyrocket you to that inner thriving overflow and operating from your full potential so that you can be making that bigger impact that you know that you're here to be making in your life and feeling fully fulfilled while you're doing it. So if any of this calls to you, please don't hesitate to reach out. We can arrange having a conversation. There's no pressure and we can have a back and forth conversation where I'm happy to see if I can help you identify maybe some of your puzzle pieces, kind of like what I did today with Rebecca, but at a slightly smaller scale. Through that conversation, if you're seeing that the way I work and use my gifts to help you see your puzzle pieces really resonates with you, then you can decide if you would like to go deeper with me and continue this work so that I can guide you to really stepping into what it is that you want to be achieving. And if, through our conversation, you feel that that's all you needed and or we don't resonate together, then there's no pressure. I only want to work with people that feel like a good fit, both on my end and your end, because that's truly when the magic happens. So in the show notes you're going to find information on how you can work with me if you would like to check that out, or you can send me a DM or an email and we can organize a conversation together.

Speaker 1: 1:53:50

So I hope that you enjoyed this, and I also suggest you might want to actually listen to this episode again in the future, because the way my work works is everything is infused with multiple layers, and so you're going to get a piece of perspective when you listen to it the first time, but then, when you go back to it again in the future, you're going to see another level of it and another layer of it, and that will help you widen your perspective even more.

Speaker 1: 1:54:20

And this is why I always get my clients to actually record the session, because this happens over and over that they're going to listen to it again in the future and they go, wow, why didn't I see that before? And this is why because it does come in layers and you're going to see what you're ready to see and then, once you integrate that, widen your perspective and then move forward into another layer of your full potential, you go back and listen again and you're going to see another layer of it, because you'd be able to see another layer of it and that will help you to integrate another layer and move another layer towards your full potential. So thank you for listening to this episode. I know it was longer than usual, but I really wanted to include all of this to capture the goodness, and I hope this was helpful for you. So I look forward to speaking to you again soon.